Orlick
Crimes: Assaults Pip's sister, inflicting an injury that later causes her death. But she's a bitch, so that's not such a big deal. He later attempts to murder Pip himself. Pip is also kind of a pain in the ass, but since he's the protagonist of the book, it's a grave offense. Orlick is also guilty of some pretty serious crimes against the English language, but that's beside the point. (Did anyone in Victorian England actually use the word "durst"?)
Diagnosis: Inferiority complex, possibly sociopathic. Was definitely not held enough as a child. Also, Orlick is an alcoholic, and could clearly benefit from 12-Step Therapy.
Punishment: Death.
What have we learned? People with bad grammar are evil, and they will clock you over the head if they get the slightest chance.
Crimes: Aids in the scheme to steal from Miss Havisham, leads a life of crime in general. Threatens to have Pip's liver removed and eaten, but later gives Pip all of his money. (Thereby causing Pip to become far too big for his britches.) It's bad enough to be a convict, but he's also inconsistent. He fathers a child out of wedlock, but hey, who hasn't?
Diagnosis: Your basic theiving, murderous criminal with a heart of gold. There's alot of them out there, you know.
Punishment:First he's sent to the penal colony of Austrailia, but he's later arrested for returning to England to and dies in prision.
What have we learned? All Australians are criminals.
Bentley Drummle
Crimes: First of all, he's a cocky snob. Then, there's the spousal abuse: he uses Estella "with great cruelty." Worse even than that, he is guilty of the "ill treatment" of a horse.
Diagnosis: Drummle, to use a technical term, is what we in the profession like to call a "rat-bastard."
Punishment: Dies in an accident as a consequence of his "ill treatment" of the horse. Use your imagination on that one. Before that, he is punished for his snobbery by unwittingly marrying the daughter of a convict.
What Have We Learned? Just because you have money and come from a good family doesn't mean that you are better than anyone else. We all must learn to have respect and tolerance for others. Also, don't mess with horses. Seriously.
Crimes: Well, I'm not sure if Scrooge is guilty of any crimes, but he's a right bastard for the first few chapters of the book.
Diagnosis: What's interesting about this book is that Dickens doesn't really explain why Scrooge is so cheap and crabby. It appears to me that he just hates people. I don't see what's so unheathly about that.
Punishment: After visitations by three ghosts, Scrooge is turned into exactely the sort of jolly Christmas well-wisher that, by his own philosophy, should be boiled in his own pudding.
What Have We Learned? All it takes to turn a misanthropic, avarious old man into a cheerful, generous one is three nights, a terminally ill child, the appearance of his dead partner, a trio of ghostly appararitions that can fly, and the threat of death. Warms the heart, doesn't it?
